On this auspicious day, our country’s esteemed celebration of independence and backyard BBQs and fireflies and fireworks and a nice hot summer day off from work – I would like to offer my brilliant services as future president.
Yes, that’s right dear readers – a vote for Olive is a vote for fun!
I intend to run on a platform of dance parties, good manners and fashionable footwear. Now – wouldn’t you campaign for a gal that espouses such valid values?
If I were to win, to become the very first female president of the good U.S of A. you can count on the following:
- A return to chivalry. Men must pull out chairs, open doors and lay down coats across mud puddles for all ladies.
- A very nice pair of comfy but stylish shoes on every foot.
- Mandatory nice manners. Please and thank you.
- Mandatory kindness and gentleness and goodnaturedness to all your neighbors, at all times.
- Mandatory dancing. Everywhere, any time. Boogie down America!
- And peace, love, and adventure for all!
Happy Fourth my sweets!